I told you I’d get around to this eventually.

I think everyone knows the story behind the Virtual Boy, as it has become a bit infamous, so I’ll skip the history lesson and images this time around. Let’s just get right down to the nitty-gritty.

The Virtual Boy is a largely misunderstood platform, because media outlets ragged on it and not enough people owned one to effectively combat misconceptions about it.

First and foremost, I’ve NEVER met anyone who had eye strain or a head ache while playing my Virtual Boy. I’ve put marathon sessions of up to five hours on mine before, and the only problem I encountered was adjusting my eyes back to the normal light in the room. There was no strain or pain involved. I think the reason people think it causes so many problems is the warning attached to the box and in the games (they’ll tell you to take a break every now and again, akin to Wii Sports). Just like the DS warns you about seizures, the Virtual Boy warns you about head aches and eye strains.

And I’m sure there are SOME people who get head aches and eye strain when playing the system. It CAN happen, which is why Nintendo decided to warn everyone and cover their asses. But just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s prevalent or likely to happen.

But there is one issue that the system is famous for that can actually be a problem: comfort level. The Virtual Boy is a hard system to get comfortable while playing due to the nature of its stand. A lot of people have neck stiffness and the like. But if you take steps to protect against this problem, it’s really not an issue. I recommend using a high-sitting table that you can slide your legs under (a TV tray does the trick perfectly).

The Virtual Boy has a pretty nice controller:

It has two responsive d-pads, a comfortable button layout, and good shoulder buttons (hidden on the bottom of the handles). It really is one of my favorite controllers of all time.

The Virtual Boy is capable of some very, very cool 3D effects that you really still can’t find in games today. Menus pop, things jump out at you, and it gives off the illusion of depth much better than any traditional monitor or television screen can. The graphics are all various shades of red, but the sprites are detailed and well-animated and everything looks awesome.

I honestly think that if the Virtual Boy were marketed right, it could have created a fifth pillar in the gaming industry (the other four being arcades, PCs, consoles, and handhelds). Nintendo marketed it as a portable, which was retarded because the system is heavy and you can’t play it while moving. If it were marketed as what it is, a TABLETOP CONSOLE, it could have really taken off. The idea of a tabletop console is appealing in my mind. It has a self-contained monitor and a head phone jack, so you don’t have to bother other people in the room if they don’t want to hear you play. But unlike handhelds, it’s capable of pumping out impressive visuals and relies on a traditional controller. It could have also been appealing from a multiplayer and social perspective in the same way that LAN parties are. It’s easy to take around with you and you could link it up to your friend’s system, but you’d have your own screen to watch.

Another marketing gaffe was calling it a “virtual reality” console, because it clearly isn’t one. It’s a true 3D experience, and if it were marketed as such people would have been very impressed by it rather than underwhelmed by the fact that it didn’t meet the hype.

The Virtual Boy is attractive from a collector’s standpoint due to its small library (see below) and extreme novelty factor. Most games are cheap (but some are very expensive) and there aren’t many to find, so it isn’t hard at all to build a very nice collection. But also consider that the systems commonly have a display problem that can lead to distortion of the images. It isn’t hard to fix from a monetary standpoint, but it can be a real pain in the ass if you don’t know what you’re doing.

One thing about the Virtual Boy I really, really loved was the way every cartridge came with a detachable dust cover, to keep games in great working order when not in use.

Notice the black things on the bottom of the carts.

And now we get to the games. The Virtual Boy only has 24 of them, which is an insanely small amount. Luckily, most of them are very, very good. Virtual Boy Wario Land is hands down one of the best games ever made, and anyone who has ever enjoyed a 2D platformer would do well to pick it up. Mario’s Tennis and Mario Clash are well made and worthy of their namesake. You also have two Tetris games, a Bomberman puzzler, a boxing game reminiscent of Punch Out, Space Invaders, and the best pinball game ever made (Galactic Pinball). And there are lots of prototypes and homebrew games floating around, which is cool.

The breakdown:
Build quality: C-
Controller: A
Library size: F
Library quality: A-
Innovation and novelty: A+
Community: C+
Collectibility: A+
Overall: B+ (coincidence that I keep coming up with the same score).

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